39/40 Weeks - The End

Well, folks, this is it. This marks the end of two amazing journeys - the journey of a second pregnancy and the journey of a second pregnancy blog. I have decided to combine my 39th and 40th week into one blog, as so much has been happening that it seems it would logically fit into one, final blog.

So, "What's been going on?" you ask. Are you sure you want to know?

Okay. Here it goes.

Slow Motion and Second Baby "Stuff"

Have I mentioned how annoyed I am beginning to get with the phrase, "Oh, it's just second baby stuff." In my 39th week, a very common pregnancy symptom that I was diagnosed with quite a while ago began to rear its ugly head. Pubic symphus separation had decided that it wanted to lay me flat on my a-double-s. I couldn't walk, couldn't sleep, and couldn't stop whining from the pain that it was causing me. After one night of literally not one hour of sleep, I had enough. As I was slowly waddling into work after this night, an innocent bystander casually asked me how I was holding up. Little did she know that question was all it took for tears to start falling from my face immediately. It was then that I knew that I couldn't go on like this anymore. I got into my office and called my OB and scheduled an appointment for that morning. My one goal for this appointment - to move my induction up from May 25th to as soon as possible. Ah, what a relief I felt after that call was made.

But then, as you know, I am not a single mother. There is another person that is just as involved in this pregnancy. As I phoned Jason to alert him to the soon-approaching appointment, I had a gut feeling that he was not going to be supportive of this decision. Not surprisingly, my gut was right. Now, I know what you all are thinking. He has no say in whatever decision is made regarding induction because he is not the one carrying this baby nor dealing with this incessant pain. I agree - to a point. We are married, we are a unit, we are one. When we got married, we gave up the impulsivity to make huge decisions, like this one, on our own. So as much as it pained me to hear his disapproval, I at least let him give me his side. He didn't believe that we were giving Leo an opportunity to make it into this world by himself. Remember Lidia's blog where I was so headstrong about not wanting to be induced? I wrote about how it wasn't fair for us to "play God" and pick her birthday. Well, I didn't seem to remember that, but Jason did. And (keep this in your memory, Jason, because you will rarely hear this in your lifetime) he was right. But, we ended up going to the appointment anyway. I was checked out by the doctor and she said that I had a favorable cervix for induction- I was 2-plus dilated, 50% effaced, and Leo's head was sitting pretty at a -2 station. Then, the doctor hooked me up to a non-stress test to make sure that Leo was active and his heart was healthy (you can thank Jason for this oh-so-flattering picture). Of course, Leo checked out just perfect. On this day, I was 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The doctor stated that beginning in 2 days, I could be induced whenever I liked. She stated that she would consider my need to be induced "medical" at this point since I was in so much pain. The only way to relieve the pain at that point was to give birth.

God's Way

As we were leaving the office to check out, Jason had agreed to fancy the idea of being induced earlier than May 25th. We got wind of the doctors on call in the next couple of days - none of which was our favorite, Dr. Rinala. But, we at least had our other top two on call that Saturday, May 19th and Monday, May 21. Jason and I decided that we would sleep on it. While he may have been able to "sleep on it," I was again propping myself up with 18 pillows and drinking as little as possible so I wouldn't have to move during the night (and so I could at least get 1 blessed hour of sleep). The next morning, we compromised on a Monday, May 21st induction. I first called my mother to ask her if she could come earlier than expected, and of course she said yes.  I then called the OB's office to schedule it. But there was one problem...they were all filled up. Good Samaritan hospital, the best-rated baby-birthing hospital in the area, already had 16 inductions/c-sections scheduled for that morning.

After this news sunk in, Jason and I both agreed that this was God's way of letting us know that Leo's birthday was not to come early. We decided to give up on being induced early and stick with our original induction date of May 25th. At that point, we both felt confident that we would have no guilt in Leo getting a bit of a nudge on his official due date.

In the Words of Destiny's Child...

I'm a survivor
I'm not gon give up
I'm not gon stop
I'm gon work harder
I'm a survivor
I'm gonna make it
I will survive
Keep on survivin'

We have been biding our time here in pregnancy land - enduring pain and sleepless nights. Our son's day is getting very close - he should be in our arms in less than 48 hours. Not surprisingly, Lidia and I have shared a nice fever-producing cold the past couple of days. We are feeling better, but were a bit worried that if my fever didn't go down, then the induction would be off. Right now, it's looking as if all systems are a go. Cookies for the labor and delivery team have been made and packaged. Suitcase is packed. Lidia's present from Leo is wrapped. We are as ready as we will ever be.  I spent tonight completely absorbed in Lidia and everything that she was doing and saying. It is so surreal to think that she will be a big sister in less than 2 days. How on earth am I going to be the mother that both my daughter and my son need? How will I have the time in the day to let them know continuously how much my heart literally aches with love for them?

One last story I would like to leave you with...

On Mother's Day, as Jason, Lidia, and I were heading up to get communion at mass, I saw a hand reaching for me out of my peripheral vision. As I glanced over, the person reaching for me was a beautiful, elderly woman dressed in purple. Her hair was as white as the snow cover on a cold winter's day. I saw her shaking as she grabbed onto the pew in front of her to hold herself up long enough to hold my hand.  She  uttered these three words to me as her eyes glistened: "Happy Mother's Day." I looked at her and smiled while saying, "Thank you." She smiled back at me, sat slowly back down and seemed satisfied that her work had been done. This woman touched my soul. Any doubt that I had about being a good enough person to mother two children was washed away. She gave me all the confidence I needed with those three, small, meaningful words. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Not only because I have an amazing husband, but because I am a mother. I could not imagine my life without these two miracles, Lidia and Leo.

Leonardo Matthew, it is with great pleasure that I put the last period on your last blog post. The next time I'll be writing will be to write about your birth story. I can't imagine more of a blessing than that. Your Daddy, Mommy, and big sister Lidia love you more than anything. We will see you soon, my love. Sweet dreams, little peanut.




Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die
That's how you and I will be

Week 37/38 - A Tribute to Leo

Quick update: We have not progressed this week. Stats are still the same as last week. Induction is about a 97% chance right now (a scientific number derived by my own assumptions). We've got 2 weeks until our baby boy is in our arms!

I've worked hours on the 4 minute video above. It sums up our whole journey with Leo up to this point. We hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Winter Melon

Did you know that the picture to the left is a winter melon? I obviously enjoy how the website www.thebump.com compares you to produce every week. I just wish it was produce that most people were familiar with. So what's a baby who has done all of his growing and maturing to do in the womb? Practice, practice, practice! Apparently, you are practicing breathing, swallowing, sucking, and making poop. With all the contractions I've been having lately, I thought for sure you would be closer to coming into this world. However, that was not the case. The doctor today stated that your head was still "pretty far up there." That could only mean that you're just not ready to arrive in this world yet. That's OK, Leo. We have been waiting for you for 38 weeks, what's another 2?

We love you so much and cannot wait to see you soon! Goodnight, sweet Leo.

36 Weeks (the end of). Just the Facts, Ma'am

I feel like I have so much to say at this point, that I don't know where to start. So I leave you with just the facts.

This is the end of week 36 and the beginning of week 37. This week, I have nursed my daughter and my husband back to health, and ended up needing their nurturing in return as I contracted the same illness. Last night, I was thisclose to having Jason take me to the ER, as my vision went blurry and spotty for a period of time. This was proceeded by the most intense headache I have ever had. Which was followed by the stomach flu. Thankfully, our doctor's appointment was scheduled for today and I left with instructions to drink lots of fluids and eat toast, bananas, and applesauce.

At our doctor's appointment, we found out some more facts. Leo is considered full-term at this point. I am nearly 2 cm dilated. My blood pressure was 102 over something. No protein in urine. My Group B strep test was negative. And, I weighed in 5 pounds less than last Friday (thanks in part to the tummy bug). Finally, Leo's birth was scheduled for 3 weeks from this day with our favorite doctor, Dr. Rinala. All this means that this will most likely be the 3rd to last post in Little Peanut.

I spoke to my mother today and she was telling me about the progress she is making on Leo's quilt. She asked me what I was making for him and I replied by saying, "Mom, I don't make things." But, the more I thought about it, I do make things. Be ready for next week's blog, where a video entitled, "A Tribute to Leo" will be debuted.

And those are the facts.


Coconut

Hi my sweet baby boy. There is no doubt that you aren't affected in the least by mommy's most recent sickness. You are moving and grooving as much as ever. In reading our favorite pregnancy websites, it looks as though most, if not all, of your development is completed. Your lungs are the only part of your body that just might need a little bit more time to mature.

I can't believe we have only 3 weeks left until we get to hold you in our arms, Leo. That's less than a month! Your daddy, sister, and I are counting down the days, my love. You're almost done growing into a healthy newborn. Feel free to arrive when you are ready (because the good Lord knows that we are!). We love you, Leo!

35 Weeks (end of) - You Know You're 9 Months Pregnant When...

Yes, it's obvious I'm close to the end. I mean, just look at me! For those of you who haven't been pregnant before, or who are in the early stages of pregnancy, I decided to compile one of my infamous lists for you.

You Know You're 9 Months Pregnant When...

• You can't go anywhere - and I mean anywhere - without someone asking if you're due soon (and you do everything to hold back saying, "What do you think?!").
• You get on the scale in the morning to see how many pounds you've packed on in the past couple of days and you can't see the number because your belly is protruding past the scale (which, perhaps, is a good thing in this instance).
• Your shower routine uses up your daily allowance of creativity. From attempting to shave to trying to clean the bottoms of your feet, you get discouraged and contemplate living with smelly feet and hairy legs for the next 4 weeks.
• Your nightly sleep resembles that of a chicken baking in the oven - you're constantly rotating from your left side to your right side. It goes something like this: 11 pm - right side aching, flip to left side, 12 am - left side aching, flip to right side, etc.
• No matter what position you are in during the day, you are aching somewhere. You sit, your upper right back aches. You stand, your feet are throbbing. You walk, your pelvis is screaming in pain. You lay down, your hips and tail bone ache.
• You have not only a valid, traditional, socially acceptable muffin top in your waist, but also in your swollen feet as they pour out of your shoes.
• You wear high heals, and you bite it...big time...for no apparent reason...in front of a large group of people.
• You spend an unacceptable amount of time each morning and evening squeezing your wedding band on and off.
• You grimace at those who have an accessible parking tag walking ever-so-graciously into the grocery store as you have to park a mile away and take rest breaks on your way in.
• Your maternity clothes no longer fit you, but you refuse to buy more because you only have 4 more weeks. Sorry people, you must deal with glimpses of the bottom of my belly.
• You run to the bathroom with urgency, sit on the toilet, and only a trickle of pee comes out. Really? You then seriously consider adult diapers.
• Your belly, instead of your hips, has become a nice shelf for holding your toddler.
• You have a whole conversation with someone and cannot recall one word they said because you were too busy trying to concentrate on not being too tired to listen to said person.

You Butternut Be Late!

Hello my little squishy squash Leo. Well, I'm a day late again, but it actually works out to our benefit because I had a doctor's appointment today. My total weight gain with you so far has been 34 pounds. Already, it exceeds what I gained with Lidia, but that is to be expected. You are a boy, and I haven't been able to be as active with you as I was with Lidia. No worries, though! You will be just as healthy, and mommy already has her training plan for post-baby weight loss. We received some good news at the doctor's today - you are head down and are almost guaranteed not to change positions for the rest of your time in my cozy womb. Also, we found out today that I am 1 cm dilated. In looking back at Lidia's blog, it turns out my dilation was the exact same with her as it is with you at this point in the pregnancy. Again, induction was brought up with this doctor and she said that she never has had to do a Cesarean section on a 2nd time mother who was induced. This eased some of my fears of being induced. She told me that there is no medical reason for you to be in the womb past 39 weeks - that the choice to not induce is not medically based, but socially based. Still, your daddy and I are not sure what the best path is. We definitely do not want to be induced for selfish reasons. One thing we know for sure is that your arrival into this world is 3-4 weeks away, whether naturally or not. Can you believe that, sweet Leo?

Your brain is continuing to grow at a rapid pace, with new cells forming constantly. You have now reached your max height and won't do much more growing in that department until after birth. And, you only have about 1-2 pounds left to gain before your big debut.

We are 100% ready for you, Leonardo. Daddy even finished painting your room tonight. We love you and can't wait to finally hold you in our arms!

34 Weeks - The Rest

And by rest, I don't mean relaxation. I owe you all the rest of my list of milestones to look forward to in pregnancy. The milestones that keep it fresh and eliminate the monotomy. So without further ado, here it is:

Weeks 20-24 - Its time to start your registry! Ask around and start reading reviews on all those must-have baby products. It will take you at least 4 weeks to compile this list, no matter which store or stores you choose. Babies-R-Us seems to be the go-to store when it comes to baby registries, as they have everything - and more- that you will need for your baby.

Weeks 24-28 - Plan a trip! These 4 weeks will probably be the best weeks of your pregnancy. So plan a weekend - heck, a week - trip. Shop, paint the baby's room, and do any big projects that you would like done before baby gets here. Because once you hit the third trimester, it is literally downhill from there. You won't have the physical capacity to handle much of anything.

Weeks 28-32 - Schedule a 3D ultrasound! This is the best time to see your baby in 3D. He has accumulated enough fat by now that he actually looks like a baby, and its not too late in the pregnancy where room is lacking and the chances of good pictures are slim.

Weeks 32-36 - Time for your baby shower! I would recommend holding the shower towards the earlier part of these weeks, as predictions of pre-term labor are tough to make with first babies. Many people choose the traditional women-only daytime shower. But don't be afraid to be adventurous with a evening co-ed shower (just make sure you have a keg for the men).

Weeks 36-40 - It's nesting time! Though you may not feel up to it on most days, try to do the cleaning that you would do once a month. That way, you have done your last cleaning before baby arrives and you don't have to lement over all the things that need done after baby gets here. This also entails getting baby's room ready for his arrival. Also, start walking. Walk miles - and include hills and valleys. By 37 weeks, your baby is considered full term, so start doing all those tricks to intice baby into this world. I highly suggest [several] pregnancy massages during this time.

Baby is here!

Well, he's not quite here yet. But we're ready for him...

A Durian?

I have no idea what a durian is, but this week you are the size of one. Apparently, you could be weighing in at a max of 5-6 pounds this week. That is completely amazing to me! You are now recognizing sweet songs that are sung. Lidia, Dada, and I have been singing "Twinkle Little Star" to you in hopes that you will recognize it when you enter this world. Mama has had a marked increase in her need to pee lately, which is a sign that you've moved further down in my pelvis - and are that much closer to the outside world.

It's time for us to sign-off now. Sleep tight my sweet baby Leo and know that Dada and I will be snuggling you tightly. We love you!

33 Weeks - Happy Easter!

Yes, I am one day late again (sorry mom!). I actually have a good excuse - I was busy doing some work from home that had to be completed by this morning. I am constantly amazed about how much additional work needs to be done at my job before I am able to go on maternity leave. Most people think that maternity leave just happens - that you go about your days as normal and then you get to graciously glide into your maternity leave. Well, that's not so much the case. Some weeks I feel like I am working double time to prepare for the time that I will be out, as do most moms who are getting ready for their leave. Jason, too, finds himself preparing for his leave. Though his leave isn't quite the same leave as I will be given, he will be dealing with lack of sleep which inevitably means less time to do work (at his job and around the house).

 We haven't quite caught the "nesting" bug yet, but I feel it coming around the corner. Today, we had our last "routine" doctor's appointment. By routine, I mean it followed the same schedule as our appointments up to this date: leave urine sample, check weight, take blood pressure, get belly measured, and listen to baby's heartbeat. In two weeks, my appointments will start to include a cervical check to assess whether labor is near or not. Again, the doctor we met with today talked about induction. I had asked her what most of her patients end up doing. She really didn't answer my question, instead she said since I had gone past my due date with Lidia and my mom had gone past her due date with her children, then it is highly likely I will go past my due date with Leo as well. She said that I am just one of those women who have longer gestations. Finally, she said that if I am 2 centimeters dilated when I am 39 weeks (which I was with Lidia) then we will schedule an induction between weeks 39 and 40. And, you know, we might just be OK with that scenario. Until then, though, we will continue preparing...and of course praying for a perfectly healthy baby boy.

Honeydew List

Sweet Leo, the list of your milestones keeps growing. Now, your immune system is strong enough to fight your first possible infections outside of the womb. I found it amazing to read that you can actually differentiate between day and nighttime because the uterine walls are getting so thin. Your daddy and I just got done having a conversation with you about how life is going to be so much different for you after you are born, but not to worry - we will be with you every step of the way.

We love you Leonardo Matthew and we absolutely cannot wait for the next 6 weeks to fly by! Goodnight, our sweet baby.

32 Weeks - Life with a Newborn

To those of you who are currently enduring those sleepless days and nights with a newborn - this is for you.

As we near the arrival of our sweet Leo, I can't help but reminisce about the days with a newborn. No one can ever prepare for what life will be like when you go from no baby to baby. Jason and I had absolutely no experience with babies - reading the book and watching the DVD of "The Happiest Baby on the Block" was not enough to prepare us for what we were about to encounter. You know how they say that if the month of March comes in like a lion, than it will go out like a lamb? That is the saying to which I would like to compare our first newborn experience. And I am not identifying the newborn as Lidia, per se, because it wasn't her who struggled - it was us who struggled. She just happened to be the lucky newborn who got us newbies as parents.

I have no regrets for stopping the blog as soon as Lidia was born. If I had continued writing, I'm sure it would have shown how clueless we really were as parents. I remember not even being able to pee without putting her down. Our first newborn didn't want anything to do with sleeping in any location other than her parents' arms. I know, you may be thinking that we spoiled her, but she woke up every single time we set her down to sleep. So when she fell asleep on one of us, we literally were out of commission until she woke up. And if we had the unfortunate luck of having to relieve ourselves while she was sleeping, she sometimes accompanied us to the bathroom. To get our first newborn to sleep, it took the actual physical effort of standing up and rocking her back and forth for sometimes an hour. And how could we forget that every time we found a moment to doze off, she woke up. Every time we decided to go to the store or eat out, she had decided that it was time for her to express her dislike with whatever she deemed appropriate. But, again I say, it wasn't her issue - it was ours. We were baby virgins. We had to go through all of our - and other's - tricks of the trade. Another memory is singing "You are My Sunshine" over and over again to keep her content. Every time we would stop the song, she would start crying. So we belted it as loudly and as proudly as we could to keep our baby content.

I fully support what I wrote in the first post of this blog - our first newborn taught us everything we know about being a parent. We have learned patience - she eventually stopped crying. We have learned to be completely selfless - she literally owned my boobs for the first 15 months of her life. And frankly, she owned our every thought and every ounce of our living, breathing selves.  Show me one person who never doubts that they are the best parent. We doubt ourselves everyday. Our tricks that we learn are just that - they are tricks. They aren't some fancy theories coming to life. And just when you think that the newborn phase will kidnap the rest of your carefree life, you are flash-forwarded to 2 and a half years later...

When we eat pasta, it is serious business. Every ounce of Italian in our body is focusing on getting every piece of rotini in our stomach before our stomach registers that it's full. The same holds true for Lidia. So as we sat down to devour our pasta one evening recently, it was no surprise that there was silence as we chomped down every bite. Out of nowhere, Lidia stops eating and looks over at me. I look over at her waiting, as I could tell her mind was trying to put together what she wanted to tell me. She finally said, "Mommy?" I answered, "Yes, my love?" She replied back, "You're a good mommy." Immediately, my eyes welled up with tears and I said, "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." And she concluded by saying, "I lub you."

So to all the newbie parents out there - it gets better, I promise. And even if you are doubting yourself, chances are your newborn thinks you are the best. He just doesn't have the words to tell you...yet. Keep your head up (literally), and keep doing what you feel works best for your newborn. He will eventually thank you.

Squishy Squash

It was so nice to feel you moving tonight, my love. You had been pretty inactive throughout the day. Of course, I worried a little bit. But then, after dinner, you had a burst of energy and were practicing your moves for about a hour. I just read where I will be noticing a decrease in your movements these days because you are settling into actual newborn sleep cycles. If your sleep cycles are any indication of what your sleep cycles will be outside of the womb, it looks like we might have another baby who loves to sleep on his mommy and daddy.

Speaking of sleep, it is that oh-so-favorite time of the day for your mommy. Good night, my sweet Leo. We'll be seeing you soon!