The thought of raising a son brings on a huge cloud of responsibility, but yet a ray of opportunity. I have this enormous opportunity to mold my son into everything that a man is supposed to be. As I pondered this subject, I came up with the top lessons I want to teach my son.
No, you can't always get what you want because you are a man. How do I teach this? I simply start by not giving you everything you want (this will begin at a reasonable age, of course).
Yes, you can be artistically and musically inclined and still be considered masculine. Yes, your father has amazing athletic ability and will most likely get you involved with soccer as soon as you arrive home from the hospital. But, you have to remember that you have a musically inclined mother who will always be encouraging you to explore the arts. And hopefully, we can soon be the proud owners of an upright piano to encourage your exploration even more. How do I teach this? Well, we will continue our family nightly routine of singing and dancing before bedtime.
Don't be afraid to be yourself. Eventually, son, you will know who you are. As long as your heart is pure and your intentions are good, let your true self pour out. How do I teach this? I will let you play with barbies, enroll in dance lessons, or play football. There will be no limitations to what you can do (that is, unless you want your lip pierced - mama will put her foot down with that one). The world is yours for the taking, son. My dad wasn't afraid to give us girls a hammer to help him build and my mom wasn't afraid to show my brother how to cook, do laundry, and clean. Gender stereotypes don't mean a thing in this family.
Don't ever - and I mean ever - lead someone on. You'll know when it's right. You'll know when it's not working anymore. So stop it. How do I teach this? By modeling that although it's sometimes not easy to tell the truth, the truth will literally set you free. It's OK to have failed relationships, it's OK to break hearts, and it's OK to have your heart broken. Those experiences are all a part of finding your soul mate - those experiences are what brought your daddy and I together.
And finally...
Be a man of integrity. Be a man that people can trust. And don't forget to thank God daily for everything with which you have been blessed.
Oh, and always put the seat down.
My Sweet Papaya
Well, I can say with confidence that we officially have your name. Maybe next week your daddy will officially let me share it. We're calling you by it daily. Lidia no longer refers to you as baby peanut, but by your name. Let's just say you're going to be our little Lion King.
You are now experiencing sleep cycles like a baby. I can definitely tell when you are asleep and when you are awake. When I was cooking dinner tonight, you decided to drop kick my bladder, in which I yelled out in pain. I'm curious as to how you are positioned right now. I always try to envision which body part of yours is doing the beating on my insides.
It's time for your mama to sign off now. Goodnight my love! Keep growing healthy and we will keep praying for you.
Our little man is doing great. He is perfect. He is fabulous. I have to keep telling myself those reassuring statements. And why? Because, I have to convince myself that even though this pregnancy is totally different than Lidia's, our son is going to be just as healthy, smart, and funny as she is. Jason and I went to the baby doctor and the results of the ultrasound came back with no issues. At the time, he was weighing in at a healthy 11 ounces. All of my blood work came back as no increased risk of him having any kind of major genetic defects. So, even though I am still nauseated (and even vomitted this week), it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with him. Perhaps it just means that I got lucky the first time around. The doctor told us that the third baby is always the best pregnancy because with the first two combined, you end up having every single symptom there is. So when number three comes along, there are no surprises. You have already experienced all there is to experience and you know that it's normal, and that your baby will be normal, too. And there couldn't be anything more normal than a baby the size of a banana.
Goin' Bananas Over You!
Son, you sure do know how to brighten my day. I can't help but stop what I'm doing, sit back, put my hand on my belly, and just relish in the moment. I made the mistake of watching birth stories this week and I sobbed like a baby at every single one of them. The reason why? Because I absolutely am pining for the day when we get to experience your birth and bring you into this world. I never stop thanking God for you, my darling boy. You are a miracle - twisting and turning inside of me. You are big enough for me to feel you moving, but not so big that you are cramped. Soon, though, you will be more constricted. So take advantage of your ability to twist, flip, and dance! Keep growing healthy and we will keep praying for you. Goodnight our love!
It's that time...that time we can officially celebrate the half-way mark. Woohoo! Honestly, this whole pregnancy/new-baby-coming-into-our-lives thing hasn't caught on completely yet, and I learned from last time that it won't until he is actually here with us. That's why counting down the weeks is so important to us - it keeps us focused on the amazing gift we are about to receive in less than 5 months. For a couple to actually start talking about and deciding that they are ready for a baby (when are we ever ready, though?), the least amount of time they can expect until they are holding that baby in their arms is 11 months - which I round up to 1 year. 1 year it takes to conceive, grow, and give birth to a child. When you think about it, a year is a long time. And because I am such an antsy person, I have to have those special moments and milestones to look forward to in each pregnancy to gratify me. So, I have decided to share my milestone chart in hopes that it will help other antsy mom-to-be's in their year-quest to hold their baby.
Week 4 - Pee on a Stick. Yes, this is the moment you've been waiting for. You grab your Clear Blue Easy Digital and hit it with a steady stream of pee. 2 minutes later, you've got your answer. You're pregnant! Spend the next 2 weeks getting your first doctor's appointment, stocking up on your prenatal vitamins and fish oil, saving all those favorite pregnancy Web sites to your Favorites: www.whattoexpect.com, www.thebump.com, www.babycenter.com, and purchasing (or blowing the dust off of) the pregnancy "bible," What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Week 6 - Now's a good time to tell your close family and friends. Your mom, dad, sisters, brothers. Your best friend since grade school. Share the great news with them. And most importantly, ask them to pray that your baby keeps growing healthy during the next crucial weeks (it never hurts to have too many people praying for your miracle!).
Week 8 - Start a work-out routine and remain consistent. Yes, I know, I need to take my own advice. Don't judge. Just do it - trust me, you will thank me later. Also, this is a key time to start researching all the safe anti-nausea remedies: Flat Ginger Ale, sour candy (like preggo pops), vitamin B6, lemon water, Sea-bands, etc. Let's face it, you're looking at at least 4 more weeks until you see the light at the end of the nausea tunnel.
Week 9 or 10. Your first doctor's appointment. Reality and anticipation begin to sink in. You may even want to let your co-workers and friends know of the news now.
Week 12. You can breathe now. The chance of you having a miscarriage is less than 3%. Start thanking God for letting your baby grow healthy during the most crucial development period. In the next weeks, start researching names, coming up with a nursey theme, and mapping out your maternity leave. Trust me, this takes time.
Week 12 or 13. It's Facebook announcement time. Yes, time to let your facebook "friends" know there's a baby on the way. That way, they won't be surprised with your seemingly emotional posts. I agree with you, I sobbed at last week's Grey's Anatomy, too!
Weeks 14 and 15. Go on a maternity-clothes shopping spree. Remember to get timeless items that you can take with you into your next pregnancy. If you have one near you, the Gap Clearance Outlet will let you outfit yourself for the rest of your pregnancy for around $150.
Weeks 16, 17 or 18. You can stop guessing now. That IS the baby moving inside of you. Cherish every punch, jab, and kick you feel. Begin to track his movements and see if you can predict them. Start talking to your baby. He can hear you!
Week 18, 19, or 20. Boy or girl? You will finally find out! And if you haven't already, you'll get to see that precious face and body for the first time. The little feet and hands are heart-melters. And, is that a cute little belly I see poking out?
See, you've arrived at week 20 already! Stay tuned for the charting of the next 20 weeks...
Cant-a-lope Get Any Cuter?
Hi my sweet cantalope. Your daddy would like to say a few things to you tonight. "I can't wait to hold you, see you, and play with you." And I have to report, he is laughing as he says this because he realizes how ridiculously cheesy it is. Not that he doesn't mean those things, it's just that he is much better at showing his emotions than verbalizing them. Let's be honest here - your mama's definitely the writer of the family. :)
In terms of development, you are mostly focused on getting bigger and maturing your already-formed organs (and gulpinig in that yummy amniotic fluid). We reached another milestone this week - daddy put his hand on my belly and felt you move! It was amazing. We will continue to pray for your health and growth. Keep kicking, my darling son. Mama and Dada love it!
Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave How can I love when I'm afraid To fall But watching you stand alone All of my doubt Suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I'll love you for a Thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought Your heart to me
-Christina Perri
This week's blog is completely dedicated to our little man. Yes, that's right. It's a BOY and we could not be more excited! Honestly, it still seems so surreal to me. On Saturday night of this week, I had a very vivid dream that we were in the ultrasound room and the ultrasound technician pointed to the penis and said, "It's a boy!" I woke up from that dream so excited, but at the same time I didn't want to get my hopes up. Jason and I both would not have been the least bit upset if it was another girl. Girls are awesome - Lidia is awesome. We know how to parent a girl - aka, we know how to handle a diva. Jason and I are the most conservative people when it comes to a change in habit. We are the kind of people who will stay at our respective jobs for years and years, live in the same house/area for years, shop at the same stores, drive the same cars, etc. We like consistency. So, having another girl would really fit with our lifestyle. However, the amount of joy and fulfillment a boy can bring to a family excites us both. Jason and I are both the youngest of four - we both have 2 older sisters and 1 older brother. We have lived through a multi-gendered sibling household. So in a way, adding a boy to our family would keep consistency, too. A boy would be less of a diva, but more of a little stinker. So honestly, we were completely indifferent about the gender of this baby. We would have been completely ecstatic with whatever the news was. And that news had a special way of reaching us, right straight to our hearts.
Call me crazy, call me controlling, call me whatever name you want to call me. I have to know the gender of my babies before they are born, and I have to know their name. For me, its the milestone that keeps me upbeat and positive throughout pregnancy. I'm already talking to him, calling him by name, and imaging us as a family after he arrives. To me, we're not going to have a son - we already have a son. So, to say I was looking forward to this day would be a total understatement. I thought about it nearly every minute of every day. And the day we found out was no different.
We had decided to schedule the ultrasound on a Wednesday, because that is a day when Jason is off of work. Lidia was going to be home with him that day, too, and we thought it was important for her to be at the appointment as well. I was busy at work all day and Jason was busy parenting Lidia. Needless to say, our 2:30 appointment crept up on us very quickly. Jason and Lidia picked me up from work and we drove onto our appointment. As soon as I got in the car, Lidia smiled and said, "Mommy, we are going to the doctor to see baby peanut and I'm not sick!." Apparently, Daddy had a done a good job prepping her for the appointment. On our way there, Jason looked at me and said, "OK, final guess. What is it?" I said girl, Lidia said girl, and Jason said boy. We all know my track record on guessing the gender of our babies - I was zero for one.This pregnancy has been completely different from Lidia's. According to all those Old Wives, I was having a boy. Plus, I couldn't forget that oh-so-vivid dream of mine that revealed the gender of our baby as a boy. But, I just couldn't believe it for some reason. I thought it was another girl.
We arrived at the doctor's office and, surprisingly, didn't have to wait much at all. We walked back to the ultrasound room and got situated. The ultrasound technician worked her way from the baby's head down. She said the brain looked great and the heart looked "pretty, as it was beating steady at 146 beats per minute. The lips were good and we could even see the baby practicing breathing. Then, it was "peepee or no peepee" time. After she waved her wand down in the genital area, it was plain as day that we had a son. As soon as she spoke the words, "Looks like it's a boy!", Jason and I immediately had tears streaming down from our eyes and ear-to-ear smiles on our faces. Jason grabbed my hand and squeezed it. We were so incredibly happy in that moment - happiness that equalled the amount of happiness that we had when found out Lidia's gender. We told Lidia she was the proud sister of a baby brother and she smiled. She was an angel during the whole ultrasound. She kept asking, "What's that?", as the ultrasound technician moved from body part to body part. After everything checked out just fine, it was time to say goodbye to baby brother. As I was getting up, Lidia exclaimed, "Mommy, you need to put your pants back on." Everyone laughed. She always has a way of adding humor to a situation.
In conclusion, yesterday was one of the best, most anticipated days of our lives. When they tell you that the excitement wears off after the first pregnancy, don't believe them. We are, and have been, just as excited during this pregnancy as the last one. The only difference is we have one extra person with which to share the excitement. Before I left for work today, she said, "Mommy, I want a kiss." I gave her a kiss and as I was walking away, she said, "Mommy! I want to kiss your belly." I love her so much, and I love our baby boy just as much.
My Little Mango
Say goodbye to the moniker, "baby peanut." We can now call you by name! And we aren't quite ready to share your name with the general public yet, as we want to try it out and make sure it works. Maybe in a couple weeks we will feel ready to share. For now, it will remain our little secret. It was so amazing - really, a miracle to see you yesterday. You were kicking your little legs and moving your arms. We even watched you for a moment as you were trying to move your fingers and thumb into your mouth. You succeeded! We got to see you yawn, too, which was a very precious moment.
As far as your development goes, your body is working on refining all of your five senses. You are also being covered with a cheesey coating, called vernix caseosa, which will keep your skin from wrinkling up like a prune.
My son, my love. Keep growing healthy down there and we will keep praying for you. I leave you with a video of your big reveal. We love you!
Yes, you can be artistically and musically inclined and still be considered masculine. Yes, your father has amazing athletic ability and will most likely get you involved with soccer as soon as you arrive home from the hospital. But, you have to remember that you have a musically inclined mother who will always be encouraging you to explore the arts. And hopefully, we can soon be the proud owners of an upright piano to encourage your exploration even more. How do I teach this? Well, we will continue our family nightly routine of singing and dancing before bedtime.
